Advancing our goals

I can’t wait to turn the page of my monthly calendar to Feb. 1. Just like I was excited to exhale 2014 and inhale 2015, I’m ready to chalk this month up as a dress rehearsal for the year—a chance to test the waters and adjust my approach or focus for the next brand new month ahead of me. Maybe you got a slow start in January or you need to come up with more realistic resolutions. Whether it’s a new year, new month, new week or even the promise of a new day, it’s always the write time to make a change that will advance your goals and a choice that will turn your frown upside down. If everything has stayed the same for you during the past 30 days [read: looks exactly like last year], then it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make just one deviation from the norm and see what happens.

How has the first 1/12 of the year gone for you?

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It starts with a choice

When something bad happens, you have three choices.
You can let it define you, let it destroy you,
or you can let it strengthen you. ~ Anonymous

In the course of my lifetime, ‘bad’ things have happened. A decade ago my family was devastated by a drunk driving accident. Both of my parents died within a five-year span. My adult daughter and I were estranged for months. The definition of ‘bad’ is subjective, but how we choose to react to the bad something is always the same. We can allow it to 1) name the person we are (Victim, Loser, Etc.), 2) cause us to quit or give in or 3) inspire us to better ourselves. Of late, instead of using the bad things as learning tools, I emulate Einstein’s definition of insanity: Do the same thing over and over again but expect different results. It’s high time I jump off the treadmill, count my blessings and stop playing the victim.

What’s your MO when bad things happen?

[Image credit: Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

I’m over it

We’re almost one month into the new year already and it’s been a big fat bust so far. First, in my quest for balance, I jumped in feet first and overextended and overcommitted myself (see #12 in Confessions of a fraud), and second, my immune system suffered because of it. Not only did I miss several days, I flaked out on multiple commitments. It seems that with everything I want to do and yes, even need to do, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed and deplete my reserves. Yet, when this happens, I am crabby and zero good to others. I cannot expect to run on autopilot with no respect for my energy levels. So how do I find balance? I need to ask myself: What drains me and what feeds me?—then eliminate the one and do more of the other—because if I don’t start practicing self-love on a consistent basis, my sparkle might begin to dull with time.

When is enough, enough for you?

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Confessions of a fraud

Much of the time, lately, I feel like a fraud. Although I appear one way on the outside, I’m not feeling it on the inside. Admittedly, I’m doing a poor job of exhaling the old and inhaling the new. But I’m beginning to realize this means making one or more changes in my life. According to familyshare.com, I must stop:

1. Comparing myself to others
2. Waiting for the right moment
3. Spending time with people who hurt me
4. Judging others
5. Running away from my problems
6. Putting my own needs on the back burner
7. Trying to be someone I’m not
8. Being scared to make mistakes
9. Trying to buy happiness
10. Missing out
11. Being a pushover
12. Being too busy
13. Blaming other people for my problems
14. Relying on others to make me happy
15. Doubting myself
16. Eating out excessively
17. Being complacent with my life

Ready or not, here comes the real me.

What behaviors do you struggle with?

[Image credit: Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

Re-evaluate, release and repeat

With more than a week logged into the New Year, now is the perfect time to re-evaluate the resolutions, goals, lifestyle changes and [fill-in-the-blank] dreams many of us employed on the first of the month. My challenge—to focus on balancing it out—has turned into a juggling act of sorts. In a good way: It seems the more my passions and goals line up, the more I’m able to squeeze into any given day. For instance, the practice of yoga is an emotional and physical balm for me, but when I added a spiritual outlet into my schedule, my world became a little more rounded. Some days, however, it’s all I can do to shuffle vehicles after a recent car accident left my family with limited transportation, while on others I feel like Wonder Woman. And it also requires the conscious release (by me!) of preconceived expectations to “do it all” when time runs out in the day.

How is the New Year shaping up for you?

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Make it happen in 2015

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

We’ve had a few days now to get our feet wet in the new year. Some of us have jumped into new resolutions, and/or revisited old ones, as we face a pristine slate ripe with possibility. I recently heard a statistic that only 10 percent of people who resolve to make a change in any given new year actually succeed. Personally, I’ve come up with some lofty goals in 2015 to realize a more balanced life and, if last year was one filled with insight and personal development, this year is destined to overflow with manifestation (I can feel it!). So how do we ensure we’re one of the scant few whose resolutions come to fruition? I think it first begins with a theme or focus, like balanced living, healthier eating, fitness, etc., and then a realistic plan of what *needs* to happen to make it happen. But it’s also important to allow for wiggle room when *life* happens. And be forgiving.

What are your resolutions this year?

Exhale the old, inhale the new

 

[Image credit: Danilo Rizzuti]

So far the best saying I’ve stumbled across that pertains to the New Year is: Exhale 2014, inhale 2015. I love the visual this invokes: Shed the old in order to fill up with the new. But I believe that in order to make room for more of the good stuff, it’s important to acknowledge the bad stuff and then let it go. Didn’t get everything crossed off your bucket list? Pare it down this year, make it more attainable. Loved and lost? Give thanks for those who made you feel alive. Ran head first into a few hiccups on your journey? Learn and continue to live. Each moment is an opportunity to love more, forgive more, appreciate more… be more. My personal focus for the New Year is balance—while at the same time doing more (of the above). And remember: Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product (Eleanor Roosevelt). I’m ready.

What is one area you plan to focus on in the coming year?