Step 2 toward making a positive change

[Image credit: imagerymajestic]

In my post, Two weeks to a new, improved you, I shared the first step of five to help you change your life in 14 days. I also included a sample from my notebook on how to complete the first step. This post reviews step two: List everyone and everything that drain your energy. Examples can be work life, home life, your relationship with a significant other, your health or body image. If it helps, begin with broader categories and be as detailed and focused as possible. What are the things bringing you down at work—is it lack of communication or a particular colleague? Is your home cluttered, are projects left unfinished or do you spend the majority of your free time picking up after others? Do you need to confront someone about unresolved feelings? Are there certain health issues that cause you frustration? Use this checklist to explore any negative energy in your life to prepare you for step three.

Were you surprised with your list?

Two weeks to a new, improved you

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

I’m obsessed with www.mindbodygreen.com and all its glowing tips on how to be happier, discover your life’s purpose and eat healthier, as well as my recent fixation: how to change your life in 14 days. Admittedly, I’m in a season of pure apathy. But I’m told it’s possible to see noticeable change in two weeks with five easy steps. In my next few posts, I’ll share the hows and offer examples of each. On Nov. 1, I’ll begin the process and journal my progress. I’ve completed the first step: 1) evaluate your life on a scale of 1-10; be specific about how you want to feel in two weeks (an 8 or higher is the suggested intention). Here’s a sampling from my notebook:

A) Vocational
1) Career/writing: 4 (lazy, unmotivated), 8 (plans in place, motivated)
B) Relational
1) Parental: 5 (uninvolved), 8 (involved, dates planned)
C) Health
1) Fitness: 5 (poor body image, unmotivated), 9 (re-energized, improved image)

What’s one thing you’d like to change in two weeks?

How to live the life of your dreams

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

 

I tend to gravitate toward articles and advice on how to be happy, to get what I want—to be successful at life. Don’t misunderstand—I’ve experienced happiness. I’ve also obtained a few things I want out of life, as well as achieved modest success. But, there’s a part of me I describe as restless, a feeling of inner turmoil. The knowledge there is more. So I keep shopping around, trying on new ideas, mixing and matching until the perfect ensemble comes together and I’ll be living the life of my dreams Someday. Here are five simple and commonsense steps, paraphrased from mindbodygreen.com, to get started: 1) make it a goal to actively change whatever you don’t like about your life; 2) find a way to make your goal happen; 3) surround yourself with positive people; 4) practice gratitude today—look for things that are right in your life—while actively trying to change things and 5) don’t be lazy!

Are you living the life of your dreams?

Practicing patience, perseverance

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
~ Lao Tzu

I was ticking off complaints to a friend the other day because I’ve been stuck in an uncomfortable season for…well, a season. Often I look for an easy way out, but I was reminded if I attempt to avoid discomfort, it’s possible I’ll forgo a boatload of newfound strength and courage. Plus, the easy way doesn’t always mean the right way. And, if something is worth fighting for, then all the disappointments and frustrations I endure will serve as a reminder to hold on even tighter once I’ve reached my destination. No need to worry if I’m not where I want to be or think I should be now. What’s most important, in my opinion, is practicing patience and perseverance, while finding peace in the present.

What’s your MO for handling a difficult season?

Turn your frown upside down

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

In a Men’s Health February 2014 article, negativity is likened to parasites that eat away at your health. That’s because pessimism begins in your brain and works its way down the spinal cord to the lungs, heart, liver, adrenal glands, kidneys and gut, which can cause long-term damage. It’s even possible to experience benign pain as a result of stress (Tension Myositis Syndrome). Conversely, if your state of mind is happy and hopeful, you’re apt to be more cognizant about fitness, as well as healthier food choices; you’re also likely to either quit or refrain from smoking tobacco. While negativity breeds negativity, you can pump up your optimism by exercising it on a regular basis. Increase your outlook with these three simple activities: 1) reflect on accomplishments and events that made you proud; 2) recognize gratitude by citing three good things that occur each day and 3) picture your perfect life, detailed, five years from now, and focus on what’s attainable.

How do you exercise your positivity muscles?

Navigating a new normal

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Since my last post, I’ve been muddling through most days in a film of malaise. My beloved father passed away mere weeks ago. I vacillate between feelings of abandonment and guilt, relief and hope. But often I stumble around life in ill-fitting emotions I’d prefer to shed. Yet I attempt to find my new normal among the living. I’ve been told to be gentle and kind as I navigate this unforgiving territory; to learn to say no and to accept myself wherever I’m at … that I’ll reach a point where I’m angry enough at my depressive state I’ll finally be ready to move forward. Some days are better than others. Some I wish I could turn back the clock and see my pop one more time on this side of heaven. My last post shared The meaning of life according to Gast—about truly living. Now I simply long for my sparkle to return—spark by small spark.

How are you gentle to yourself in times of loss?